![]() ![]() ![]() It sounds like you’ve given him opportunities to care that you feel this way, and that you haven’t walked away from those conversations feeling more seen or held than you did before. You say you feel you’re not getting what you need, that this situation isn’t very good for you, and that you often feel confused and hurt. “You can’t eat hope,” as the saying goes: we need sustenance in our relationships, not just the possibility that we might get it someday. It can be really hard to stop seeing someone through that optimistic lens to switch from assessing what’s coming next in terms of what is possible to what is likely.īut at a certain point that’s what we have to do. ![]() Being attracted in the first place, wanting a second or third date, it’s all fuelled by the hope that the next thing we see of this person will be exciting too. Hope is such a powerful engine of relationships. It can be very difficult to realise when to call time on hoping someone will change their mind. It’s very difficult to get someone to change that kind of thing, and you can waste a lot of time and self-esteem banging your head against their decision. Eleanor says: When the situation we want to change is a matter of someone else’s decisions, the strategy for changing it is almost always: “We can’t.” It sounds like this man has made a decision not to include you in the rest of his life, at least not as much as you’d like. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |